Bruised Dakini the Tantric Sex Queen

Tantric Paradox

The creative urge, constant craving, the desire to do something different, is the reality of existence. Mastery requires commitment and focus until perfection is complete.

What Kamala Devi has to say about the 2012 Shift

"What do you think about 2012? Is it the big prophesied doomsday? Is it another episode of mass hysteria like in Y2K? Or are we in the midst of the great shift in consciousness? 

 
Many believe that the activation is happening now and that by 2012 the collective consciousness will transcend our fear-based ways of being and we will be able to live together in peace and union.  Maybe you're already feeling it: a deeper sense of purpose, time speeding up, and a stronger creative impulse.

 
I know I've been feeling something. Times are changing. It's not just the economy and the environment, either.  When Spirit first started asking me to help anchor a higher vibration into the the material realm, I thought it sort of strange. And then I had a vision of a sort of "buddha field" where all my friends and lovers could play and I thought, "there might be something to this madness afterall!" Thus Tantra-Palooza was born. It is a San Diego based festival with playshops, performance art and a wide range of tantra teachings.

 
You may be wondering what sacred sex has to do with saving the world? Everything. Sex is how we all got here. It is the most powerful creative force on the planet, but too few people learn to harness its potential.

 
The ancient Hindu texts write about this era (the Kali Yuga) as the dark ages during which there will be a resurgence of tantric practices to test the human spirit.  If society is grounded enough to embrace its shadow and sensual nature, it is believed that we will succeed in a sacred sexual revolution.

 
Admittedly, awakening the planet is no easy task, and perhaps a little utopic, but we only need a powerful percentage to ground a loving and non-violent field to help people around the world overcome the illusion of suffering and separation." Kamala Devi

 
You are formally invited to the 2nd annual Tantra-Palooza! We are planning a five day festival with 9 Tantra Teachers under one big top tent in San Diego starting Friday Sept. 4th and ending at 9pm on 9-9-09. It is an annual nationwide event which will lead to 10 tantra teachers on 10-10-2010 and 11 teachers on 11-11-11 and yep, you guessed it, 12 teachers on 12-12-2012...
We invite YOU to help anchor in a global activation of love, passion, and bliss! 

Partner Play Shop

 

Healing the Earth with Sex

There are three kinds of sex. There is mundane sex. There is profane sex. And there is profound sex. The kind of sex most people have in their bedrooms with the lights out is mundane. The kind of sex many others have in a variety of ways and places is profane. Very few people have experienced sex of the profound variety. But the heart inherently knows it's possible. That is why people keep having mundane and profane sex. They are seeking something more satisfying. They just don't know how to make it happen. So they keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping for different results.

Many people think "it" isn't happening because they married the wrong person, or they haven't met the right person, yet. Others hope they can develop the skill to make it happen by gaining sexual experience with many partners. But there is more to profound sex than finding the right person and having a lot of experience. Although a good physical match and sexual expertise are key aspects of mutually satisfying relationships, you can't learn to coordinate a mutual simultaneous orgasm every time by having sex that falls short over and over.

The ability to achieve deep and profound mutual sexual satisfaction that brings a sense of peace beyond understanding is a highly refined skill that develops over time, with patience and practice. It is similar to practicing for a black belt, or learning how to dance. An investment of time and energy is involved. Commitment to the process is required.

A mutually satisfying non-genitally focused reciprocal sensual massage sets the stage for superior sex. It is important to nurture the whole person, body and soul. Consciously breathing together synchronizes awareness of the heart beats. Eye contact keeps you fully present, in the moment, while you are together. Sophisticated sensual conversation creates abiding trust. Superior penetration technique facilitates the deepest and most complete surrender possible.

When you have developed an intuitive sexual style of being together, and you completely understand each other, three little words, strategically spoken, are magic to a heart, otherwise unwilling, and therefore unable to open.

Some people are in the habit of faking orgasms. They fake it because they don't want to disappoint, and they don't know how to make it happen. During the honeymoon phase there is hope. As hope diminishes, so does the sexual passion. Eventually the passion wanes so much people stop having sex and move on to other partners. But the same people who get bored with partner sex and move on, don't get bored with masturbation and stop doing it. Why not? Orgasm is certain when self-pleasuring. There is nothing more mystical than the real thing. Coordinating a mutual simultaneous orgasm during sexual intercourse is the most profound thing any two human beings can endeavor to do together.

"When the sacred yoni opens and the amrita flows, the earth will be healed." Baba Dez Nichols

MMM Loves Sex

Margaret Mary Magdalena (MMM) loves sex.

In her humble opinion, one of the greatest decisions a woman ever made was expanding the concept of orgasm to include things like urination and creation. Orgasmic living and orgasmic being in an orgasmic universe is a tantalizing way to entice greater interest in the state of Samadhi. That is very important work. The truth of the matter is unquestionable.

MMM also believes people need to invent a new word to describe the crisp clean distinct sense of joy, peace and relief that floods a soul when attention is focused on the gravitational keyhole that is capable of opening portals of eternity wide enough to permit mutual simultaneous and spontaneous God-Realization during sexual union.

MMM says a new narrow precise concept and definition of this specific climactic process can help lovers tune into the divine dimension, and adjust to the fine frequency evoked by ecstatic sexual love. The Word and definition are needed to realize enlightenment. 

Victoria's Dilemma

Victoria wishes it was possible to be sexually active and enjoy herself without feeling like a sex toy that is about to be tossed aside for a new model when somebody else comes along. But evidence to the contrary has been steadily increasing. She tried the traditional way and married when she was younger. It was a disaster. She blames her mother. The woman wouldn't let her buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first. Yet she insisted Victoria remain a virgin until after the wedding ceremony. The ring turned Victoria's finger green. 

Victoria's parents never bought a car without taking it for a test drive. They didn't buy their house without inspecting it thoroughly first.  But Victoria's mother insisted that Victoria enter the most important relationship of her life, without even knowing if she could sleep comfortably in bed with the man. Feeling obligated to let her mother's religion dictate morality, Victoria hoped for the best. It was a mistake. Life took a turn for the worst. Three and a half long miserable torturous years later, the marriage was over, on Valentine's day.

Victoria was determined never to make that mistake again. She wasn't sure if something was wrong with her body, her ex-husband's penis was abnormally large, or if the two of them simply weren't a good fit. But one thing was certain: sex hurt every time they did it, for three years.

Freshly divorced, Victoria embarked upon a quest for the big O(rgasm) in the sky. She was looking for the magic man with the magic wand, with whom she could come. Never again would she put her brand on a pony, until she had taken him for a ride. She met some men on her journey, who were fantastic lovers, but none of them wanted to be in a relationship for long. After a while Victoria began to feel disposable and devalued.

Ten years and sixty two men later, Victoria's therapist suggested that she might want to try the traditional route, and get married. But Victoria views traditional marriage as the road to long term misery. She says a ring, a ceremony, and a license from the state are not what constitutes a real marriage. She has felt closer to men she's only known a few weeks, than the man she "married".

A true marriage is something that happens between two people who love having sex together, are best friends, feel loyal to one another, devoted to a partnership in life, faithful to tandem spiritual growth, and committed to the formation of a transformational bond. Marriage is something you practice, like meditation.

But the lovers Victoria has known, who could have inspired her to marry, have never wanted to be in a relationship for long. She has also known men, who wanted to marry her. But she dreaded the thought of sleeping with them every night. Victoria wonders if the men who wanted to marry her, felt used and thrown away when she refused to get married, and started dating somebody else.

Victoria doesn't want to hurt anyone, nor does she want to repeat her mistake of the past and marry somebody who isn't sexually compatible. Sex should be fun, not work. She wonders why none of her lovers, who are the most fun in bed, ever want to get married. She suspects it is because they have attained a level of sexual mastery that makes them universally compatible. They can have any woman they want, and they want them all.

Victoria is a skillful and competent lover. She is a Sensuous Virtuosa. She knows how to make loving fun. She's also noticed it's easier to have sex with some men than others. The lovers who are most difficult to accommodate sexually, are always the ones who want to stay in a long term relationship with her. The men who are most fun in bed, move on to other relationships very quickly.

The thing that frustrates Victoria most, is that it takes time and practice for her to start tuning into to a man's energy field, to develop a sensual intuition for him, and become accustomed to his love making style. When she starts to know a man well enough to feel at one with him, her trust level increases, and she surrenders more deeply into the sexual experience. That's when sex becomes divinely juicy. Unfortunately, men can feel it when her heart opens and the Sacred Tremor begins. They become alarmed. They tell her they don't want to be in a relationship. They move on to somebody else.

Victoria would like to be in relationship with a skillful lover who will stay long enough for them to coordinate a mutual simultaneous orgasm. She is tired of having to masturbate herself to an orgasm during sex, or fake one, because they don't know each other well enough to come together. She hates being abandoned when deep satisfaction seems nigh. Victoria is beginning to wonder if she will ever meet a man, who is skillful enough to ignite the sacred tremor, with both the courage and the desire, to bathe his soul in the divine frequency, long enough to become enlightened. 

Superior Penetration Technique

A video on how to put it in. 

Great Sex is Not Easy

People realize the importance of attending a university for four years to get a degree and prepare their minds for a job, but they believe they should be able to have great sex without any preparation or skill.

People don't mind spending two hours per day three times a week to condition their bodies and stay in shape, but they expect to have great sex without developing sensitivity, stamina and control.

People understand the necessity of developing skill and competence to master any sport or game, but they think great sex will happen automatically, spontaneously and effortlessly without any effort to understand what it means or how it is accomplished.

The desire for great sex, and for it to be easy, is a fantasy. The fantasy is perpetuated by simulated orgasms to accommodate, pacify, appease and gratify.

Adult service providers, who are in the business of making sex seem easy, get paid a lot of money for doing so. It causes their clients to believe that sex should be easy for anyone. When it's not, people think something is wrong with them, or they blame their lovers.  Because sex can be purchased from pros who know how to make it seem easy, there is a lack of motivation to do what is necessary to become better at sex. Few people are naturals. Certain body types make sex easier with some people than others.

Simulating great sex creates a negative feedback loop of diminishing returns. The parties involved lose interest and want new exciting experiences with somebody else. Sensitive people are compelled to seek sex that is genuine and authentic. When they find it, they cherish it and take care to nurture the relationship.

In order for the quality of sexual relations to improve, people must stop faking orgasms. Everyone must be taught from a very early age that a mutually satisfying sexual relationship is one of the most subtle and complex activities any human being can undertake. Great sex requires dedication, practice, trust, honesty and devotion to mastering the process that makes mutual simultaneous orgasm possible. 

Orgasmic Birth

Orgasmic Birth

The True Tantric Bond

It takes practice, on a repeated and regular basis to tune in to you lovers energy field, and adapt your nervous system to another person's style of love making.  Sometimes practicing reveals incompatibility factors that are insurmountable and you quickly realize that it will never be possible to have an orgasm with a particular individual. In that case, the relationship is destined to be short term. This should not be viewed as rejection when making love is simply the only way to find out whether a mutual simultaneous orgasm is possible. And in most cases, it won't be, because finding a compatible partner is like mining for gold. Insurmountable issues include things physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, and/or energetic.

Once in great a while you meet someone who is surprisingly compatible, and a conviction arises in your heart of hearts and soul of souls that you could undoubtedly come with your lover. Actually doing so, however, depends upon mutual desire to get to know each other and the willingness to invest time practicing tantra, until there is enough trust between you, that you can both reach a state of complete surrender.

If you are fortunate enough to meet someone that gives you hope and confidence, and you are granted the opportunity to practice tantra on a repeated and regular basis, your energy fields literally start to merge and become one. In some cases the merger is so complete that you can sense what your lover is experiencing, even when you are miles apart. You may even begin to incorporate your lover's mannerisms, habits and speech patterns. I once gained the ability to whistle while being the lover of a whistler. It happened spontaneously. He didn't teach me. One of my favorite tantra teachers says that in order to have a true tantric bond, you must be willing to take on your lovers Karma. It is very important to take care with whom you choose to make love.

Practice is required to develop an intuition for someone's sexual style. In some cases, you may even need to build strength and muscles in new places in order to accommodate your lover comfortably, and adequately. It also takes time to develop an intuition for someone's subtle subconscious urges and signals, and to respond to them appropriately. People with the patience and dedication required to condition themselves to come together are rare indeed.

In my book I will be talking about why men's attempts to kill the myth that they don't care about a woman's pleasure has failed. And how, without gaining the depth of understanding that is needed to create a true tantric bond, magical thinking prevails. The myth that must now be buried, is that people can meet, take their clothes off and have a genuine tantric bond with a complete stranger, upon request, in exchange for money. Tantric bonding is a process that occurs between two people who consciously and deliberately choose to become one soul resonating in two bodies. It requires dedication and practice. The process is similar to developing the skill and confidence required to obtain a black belt. It takes some people many lifetimes.

My book will also reveal why ordinary men will never be inspired to develop the kind of patience and pay the kind of attention that results in a true tantric bond unless women stop faking orgasms, even for money. Unfortunately, we live in a society that consumes fast food and has come to expect instantaneous gratification. And it has also conditioned women to believe that something is wrong with them if they can't have orgasms as easily as men. That's another myth that needs busting.

Mutually satisfying sex is infinitely more subtle, complex and intimate than dancing. It requires a greater degree of sensual intuition and trust. Imagine how much time these couples invested learning how to dance and then practicing together, before they were ready to perform:

Is That All There Is?

Many times when I was a Madam I jokingly told my ladies that,  "If you aren't married, planning to be married, or getting paid for sex, then you are being used, and you will end up feeling abused!" I said this not just because it was true. It also made good business sense. Women working for me had a tendency to fall in love with my clients, stop charging them, and get their hearts broken.

Please keep in mind that my definition of marriage is a non-traditional one. A man and a woman are not husband and wife in the eyes and the mind of God because they get a little piece of paper that says so, nor because they put a ring on each others fingers, nor because they endure one another for a lifetime for the sake of children. A man and a woman are husband and wife in the eyes and the mind of God because they consciously and deliberately choose to become one soul resonating in two bodies.

When I first learned that men were teaching tantra, my gut instinct was skepticism. Surely it was a case of the blind leading the blind, I thought. Men, clueless as to how to coordinate a mutual simultaneous orgasm, were teaching women to take responsibility for their own sexual pleasure, I suspected. I'd been responsible for my own pleasure since I discovered masturbation at eleven. In my thirties, hoping to learn how to coordinate mutual simultaneous pleasure during sexual intercourse, I purchased the book, "How to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse with a man every single time!" Much to my disappointment, the book advocated masturbating yourself with your finger, or using a vibrator during sex. I had already been doing that for years, too.

There is an empty and less than satisfying feeling that comes along with using another human being as a supplemental sex toy while masturbating yourself. It leaves you wondering "Is that all there is?" You question whether you are with the right person, because deep down in your heart you know that something is missing. That "something" is the profound intimate connection that occurs during a true tantric bond. It is a conscious, deep, spiritual connection that opens a doorway to God and self-realization.

There are some other problems with masturbating yourself to an orgasm during sexual intercourse, too.  Some men cannot maintain an erection while they are connected with you unless they are stroking. It is difficult to keep the right amount of pressure on your clitoral nerve long enough to achieve an orgasm, with either your finger or a vibrator, while a man is pumping himself up on you. If you tell him to be still, he will lose his erection and pop out as you start tensing up to have an orgasm. When the tension released, the pleasure you were building is dissipated. And some men are jealous of fingers or vibrators. They want to be the one to produce the orgasm with their linghams. That would be nice if they deserved a cigar.

Women, too, would like it very much if men could coax vaginas into orgasmic bliss with their sexual prowess and expertise. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I've been with hundreds of men, I've met very few who knew how to make it happen. I can teach men how to do it. But most of them don't want to learn, as they prefer to believe that coordinating a mutual simultaneous orgasm with a woman, is much easier than it really is. Before I knew better, I was often pressured to believe that my lack of an orgasm was my fault for self-pleasuring. I refrained until I had orgasms during dream state, and sexual intercourse remained merely frustrating. Men are so eager to see women have an orgasm, they try to make it happen. Orgasm cannot be forced. It must be coaxed, allowed to blossom and evoked upon command.  

Plenty of women fake orgasms for money and security. Others fake them simply because they don't know what an orgasm is, yet they know that men prize orgasmic women. Because there is so much faking going on, men don't have a need to become better lovers. It is easy for men to find women who will allow them to believe what they want to believe. The men who seem to be genuinely interested in becoming better lovers are in love with honest women, and have the desire to stay in relationship. They are often dismayed to learn that sexual mastery requires the same kind of discipline and dedication as studying marital arts, professional dancing, and other physical skills that require practice and training the body.

Not very often, but occasionally, I meet up with a single man, who wants to experience some tantra, and is willing to stick around long enough for the gates of heaven to begin opening. As soon as we begin to feel the sacred tremor, every one of them, so far, has become afraid and run for safety into the arms of another woman. The repeated abandonments have taken an emotional toll on my psyche, and I am now contemplating legalized prostitution, AKA traditional marriage, as a remedy for my reluctance, so I will at least have claim to half the man's assets for my time and frustration, should I meet up with another coward. Grin wink double dog dare somebody.

Truly coordinating a mutual simultaneous orgasm with another human being is what Osho referred to as "transformational sex". Transformational sex obliterates the ego. Most people are afraid they will die if they allow the ego to collapse, even temporarily. Getting to know someone well enough to develop an intuition for their body, so you can feel what they are feeling when they are feeling it, is a talent that can be developed over time, with repetitive practice.  Coordinating mutual simultaneous pleasure is a skill that you can gain, if you are willing get to know another person's body as intimately as you know your own. In order to do so, you must be devoted to honesty, full disclosure, and committed to trying and trying again, no matter how many times you may fail.

Consciously merging the sexual energy fields, and genuinely experiencing mutual sexual pleasure of equal measure, is a profoundly intimate process that devoted couples, who are on a tandem spiritual journey, can utilize as a vehicle to reach Nirvana. Once you have tasted the exquisite bliss and magnificence of a true and natural tantric bond, the rest of sex seems nothing more than hedonistic self-indulgence, even though it may be decorated with tantric semantics and cloaked with the word sacred.