Health Food Restaurant Confession

I don't like eating at most healthy food restaurants because their soy sauce gives me a migraine, their beans and greens blow me up like a blimp with painful gas, the arginine content of brown rice is so high that I get a herpes attack, and bell peppers have a whang that makes me feel sick when I taste it. So I prefer to buy organic vegetables at the farmers market and eat healthy things at home.

When eating out, I take a hand full of vitamins and go to a regular place. A mustard burger and a lemon berry slush from Sonic are a lot better for me than something touted as healthy that is guaranteed to make me feel sick. Sonic delivers my food in less than a minute and their burgers don't give me gas. So tie me up, beat me and call me a hypocrite. I don't care.

My most favorite SAD (Standard American Diet) restaurant in the state of Texas is The Golden Corral at Ben White and S. Lamar. They have a wonderful buffet, the best bread pudding I've ever tasted, and their yeast rolls are as good as my grandmothers, may God rest her soul. My favorite waiter in the whole world also works there. His name is Keith. For only a $3 tip he kisses me on the cheek, calls me "Miss Gayle," tells me I'm pretty, remembers the name of my favorite dog that died years ago, and attends my needs with so much care that I feel like the Queen of England. Now that is some good service.